HONOREE: Coming to America Barber Shop Crew

4 03 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actors: Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall

We’ve All Said It Before: “Fuck You…Fuck you.. and Fuck you! Who’s Next?”

———-

We won’t talk to much about this one.  These characters are a true testament to the genius and skill of the Coming to America cast.  Enjoy to all the C2A fans out there.

Without further ado:

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HONOREE: Darryl Jenks & the Soul Glo Empire

3 03 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actor: Eriq la Salle

We’ve All Said It Before: “Just let your soul glo …just let it shine through ”

———-

soul_glo

Soul Glo has reached super level status…its literally part of American culture

Everyone knows the name. Everyone knows the song. It is the symbol of Coming to America.  And it couldn’t have been better that the main nemesis was the heir to the Soul Glo Empire..and his last name was Jenks.

The singer for the commercial had a bit of Prince as he hit those high notes.  The two models in the commercial must have been the “Black Hair Product Models of ’88”. They look exactly like all the models I used to see on Dax, Scurl, Activator, Dark N Lovely, or whatever.  The male model does a great job @ 0:07, making it seem like he never knew his hair could be that damn greasy ..uh, I mean ‘oh so silky smooth’.

Darryl was also the perfect character as he cruised down the block in his red Camaro. But when he pulls in to the parking lot and re-ups on that activator, picks his juicy shag, and lays down his ‘stache…game over.

Get your shine on:





HONOREE: Reverend Brown

2 03 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actor: Arsenio Hall

We’ve All Said It Before: “I dont know what you came to do, but…Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (falsetto) came to praise his name”

———-

We think this is the most underrated character in Coming to America…

Every element was just right.

Sharpton-esque hair. 3 piece suit. Neanderthal teeth. Arsenio did an amazing job at capturing that old man creep, nasty perv look in his eyes, and all the cliche black preacher mannerisms.

The sermon wasn’t supposed to happen, but all them Jackson Heights’ queens gave him the holy ghost:

“But you know, when I look at these contestants! For the Miss Black Awareness Pageant,… I feel good! I feel good, because I know there’s a God …somewhere! There’s a God …somewhere! Turn around ladies for me please! You know there’s a God who sits on high and looks down low! Man cannot make it like this! Larry Flynt! Hugh Hefner! They can take the picture, but you can’t make it! Only God above, the Hugh Hefner on high, can make it for ya!”

and that tiny foot shuffle Reverend Brown on the “IIIIIII …” @ 1:29 is awesome.  Instant Classic.

It wouldnt be right, if we didn’t point out that contestant in the middle @ :30. That glittery high cut bikini strap with the ass out…she had her ish together. There is a God somewhere!

The sermon:





HONOREE: McDowell’s Robber (Samuel L. Jackson)

1 03 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actor: Samuel L. Jackson

We’ve All Said It Before: “Dont stall me ..FATBOY!”

———-

This is before he trademarked the word muthaf*cka…

So even back then over 20 years ago, Samuel L. was playing the same muthaf*cka…loud, crazed, and not giving a damn about much. Here are all the key moments:

– At 1:00 is the exact moment that booked him all future jobs

– At 1:08 “what!?”  ..I want to play that when anyone asks me a dumb ass question

“Freeze, you diseased rhinoceros pizzle!”  (and if you want to know what ‘pizzle’ is …click)

– 1:31 Punkass Darryl

Technicolored gem:





HONOREE: Randy Watson

16 02 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actor: Eddie Murphy

We’ve All Said It Before: “Sexual Chocolate!!!!”

———-

Big round of applause for Jackson Heights own…Mr. Randy Watson!

We are proud to honor our own TechniColored Awards mascot.  He may be the reason we even started to do this. He is the epitome of a legendary TechniColored character… so we thank you Randy. We thank your baby blue suit. We thank you for kissing Rev. Brown. We thank those gold chains that rest on your chest shining through your open ruffle shirt.  We thank you for your role as Joe the Policeman in the “What’s going down?” episode of “Thats My Mama”. We thank the activator that keeps your curl oh so jherried out.

We also have to thank Whitney Houston for “Greatest Love of All”.  And for marrying Bobby Brown…the King of R&B (meaning Rocks and Blunts ~ Jamie Foxx)

And let’s not forget the band.  Thank you for the name Sexual Chocolate.  “They play so fine…don’t you agree?!”

*drops the mic on stage and exits stage right*





HONOREE: Peaches & Sugar Cube

4 02 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actresses: Janette Colon & Vanessa Colon

We’ve All Said It Before: “My name is Peaches and I’m the best…”

———-

We’re back with some more Coming to America fo yo’ ass...

So um, why didn’t Prince Hakeem go ahead and snatch these two up?
Matching outfits. Name plate chains. Nice curls…wit no activator. Rhymin skills..kinda.  Let’s be clear, Peaches only dropped two lines of a rap..that’s it.

“My name is Peaches, and I’m the best…all the DJ’s want to feel my breast”

But EVERYONE knows those two lines. You can go anywhere and say, “My name is Peaches…” and expect someone to follow-up with “and I’m the best”  And if you catch the right person, you might even be hit with “and the DJ’s like to feel my breasts”.  And if its a good day, you’ll even get that bonus Fat Boys-esque hiccup beatbox at the end.

But let’s give Sugar Cube some much needed love.  She is the neglected child of the pair.  No one knew her name. Peaches’ name takes up 1/16 of the rap…Peaches claimed “I’m the best”…while all Sugar Cube did was hit beatbox …AND Peaches actually had the hot part of the beatbox at the end. Poor Sugar Cube.

Here’s the TechniColored gem:

The DJ’s aint the only ones, haa:





Honorable Mention: Royal Penis Cleaner

2 02 2009

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Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actress: We don’t know but check the IMDB page

We’ve All Said It Before: “The royal penis is cleaned your highness…”

———-

Not much we can say here..except let’s kick off this Black History Month right!

We are going focus most of our time focusing on the one of the best if not the best movies of all time….Coming to America.  You can throw this on at anytime with any crowd.  This movie is like goldmine for us. So let’s get started at the beginning.  But we really only have questions not commentary:

1. Who has a penis cleaner?

2. How long can she hold her breath?

3. How did she emerge from the waters so well put together, calm, and satisfied?

4. Is that her only job?

5. Can we adopt her from Africa?

We pray in our next lifetime, we wake up as the prince of Zamunda.  I would stay dirty! Always have a reason to take a bath and get my nuts scrubbed.

Here’s the TechniColored gem:

Prince Akeem: *sigh*