HONOREE: McDowell’s Robber (Samuel L. Jackson)

1 03 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actor: Samuel L. Jackson

We’ve All Said It Before: “Dont stall me ..FATBOY!”

———-

This is before he trademarked the word muthaf*cka…

So even back then over 20 years ago, Samuel L. was playing the same muthaf*cka…loud, crazed, and not giving a damn about much. Here are all the key moments:

– At 1:00 is the exact moment that booked him all future jobs

– At 1:08 “what!?”  ..I want to play that when anyone asks me a dumb ass question

“Freeze, you diseased rhinoceros pizzle!”  (and if you want to know what ‘pizzle’ is …click)

– 1:31 Punkass Darryl

Technicolored gem:





HONOREE: Randy Watson

16 02 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actor: Eddie Murphy

We’ve All Said It Before: “Sexual Chocolate!!!!”

———-

Big round of applause for Jackson Heights own…Mr. Randy Watson!

We are proud to honor our own TechniColored Awards mascot.  He may be the reason we even started to do this. He is the epitome of a legendary TechniColored character… so we thank you Randy. We thank your baby blue suit. We thank you for kissing Rev. Brown. We thank those gold chains that rest on your chest shining through your open ruffle shirt.  We thank you for your role as Joe the Policeman in the “What’s going down?” episode of “Thats My Mama”. We thank the activator that keeps your curl oh so jherried out.

We also have to thank Whitney Houston for “Greatest Love of All”.  And for marrying Bobby Brown…the King of R&B (meaning Rocks and Blunts ~ Jamie Foxx)

And let’s not forget the band.  Thank you for the name Sexual Chocolate.  “They play so fine…don’t you agree?!”

*drops the mic on stage and exits stage right*





Valentine’s Day: Which would you choose?

14 02 2009

Happy Technicolored Valentine’s Day!





HONOREE: Oha

13 02 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actresses: Paul Bates

We’ve All Said It Before: “She’s Your Queen to Be….”

———-

Ya’ll remember this...

This is an amazing song. We all know this, but let’s take a moment to observe the lyrics:

“She’s your Queen-to-be.

A Queen-to-be forever.

A Queen who’ll do whatever his highness desires.

She’s your Queen-to-be.

A vision of perfection.

An object of affection to quench your royal fire.

Completely free from infection.

To be used at your discretion.

Waiting only for your direction.

Your Queen-to-be.”

I’ll be honest those last two lines about ‘your discretion’ and ‘waiting for direction’ left me wondering…what tricks do they teach a ‘queen to be’? She HAS to be the best woman..fit and bread for a king. There all types of things I would have her train for EVERYDAY, but I won’t get into all that…I’m sure you can all imagine.

Prince Hakeem…you f*cked up!

Here’s the TechniColored gem:





HONOREE: Ernest L. Thomas

9 02 2009

Pardon the Black History Month/Coming to America interruption but we had to place this one up immediately. One of the homies hit us with this clip and it blew our minds.

First off its Raj from What’s Happening in a movie called Paroled.
What is this movie about? Why does he have a bib on? What’s wrong with his eye? Is he handicapped?
We don’t know and dont give a f*ck. All you need to do is watch this ‘Select Scene’ filled with so many one liners:

“This is my house nigga!!!!”
“I’d cut your muthaf*ckin heart and eat that muthaf*cka right now!”
“stank ass muthaf*cka”

It’s like they mixed Dave Chapelle, Raj, and somebody’s drunk ass grandfather.

Magical moment @ 1:10

If you’re really curious, here is an interview (with Ernest Tarmus, ha) about the role.

Just in case you forget who Raj was:





HONOREE: Peaches & Sugar Cube

4 02 2009

Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actresses: Janette Colon & Vanessa Colon

We’ve All Said It Before: “My name is Peaches and I’m the best…”

———-

We’re back with some more Coming to America fo yo’ ass...

So um, why didn’t Prince Hakeem go ahead and snatch these two up?
Matching outfits. Name plate chains. Nice curls…wit no activator. Rhymin skills..kinda.  Let’s be clear, Peaches only dropped two lines of a rap..that’s it.

“My name is Peaches, and I’m the best…all the DJ’s want to feel my breast”

But EVERYONE knows those two lines. You can go anywhere and say, “My name is Peaches…” and expect someone to follow-up with “and I’m the best”  And if you catch the right person, you might even be hit with “and the DJ’s like to feel my breasts”.  And if its a good day, you’ll even get that bonus Fat Boys-esque hiccup beatbox at the end.

But let’s give Sugar Cube some much needed love.  She is the neglected child of the pair.  No one knew her name. Peaches’ name takes up 1/16 of the rap…Peaches claimed “I’m the best”…while all Sugar Cube did was hit beatbox …AND Peaches actually had the hot part of the beatbox at the end. Poor Sugar Cube.

Here’s the TechniColored gem:

The DJ’s aint the only ones, haa:





Honorable Mention: Royal Penis Cleaner

2 02 2009

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Film: Coming to America, 1988

Director: John Landis

Actress: We don’t know but check the IMDB page

We’ve All Said It Before: “The royal penis is cleaned your highness…”

———-

Not much we can say here..except let’s kick off this Black History Month right!

We are going focus most of our time focusing on the one of the best if not the best movies of all time….Coming to America.  You can throw this on at anytime with any crowd.  This movie is like goldmine for us. So let’s get started at the beginning.  But we really only have questions not commentary:

1. Who has a penis cleaner?

2. How long can she hold her breath?

3. How did she emerge from the waters so well put together, calm, and satisfied?

4. Is that her only job?

5. Can we adopt her from Africa?

We pray in our next lifetime, we wake up as the prince of Zamunda.  I would stay dirty! Always have a reason to take a bath and get my nuts scrubbed.

Here’s the TechniColored gem:

Prince Akeem: *sigh*