HONOREE: Sir Smoke-A-Lot

11 12 2008

Film: Half Baked, 1998

Director: Tamra Davis

We’ve All Said It Before: “Bitch! You know what I want! Hahahahaha! I wanna talk to Samson!”

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Who is Sir Smoke-A-Lot?… the man, the artist, the weedhead:

Dookie Cornrows. The thickest set of braids you’ve ever seen in life, not to mention that extraneous weave shag creepin’ from the rear. Worse than any other hairstyle Samuel L. Jackson has ever worn, except for maaaybe…this unbreakable3 …

Either way, quite an amazing feat.

Got a Bad Back? Get a backiotomy! Which in case you never knew, meant the surgeon would cut out your back… which means you’ll be backless…

Impotence. “Get outta my face bitch!” Smoke A Lot needs to hit a few of those lil blue Viagras to slide it to all those groupies and video hoes running ’round high and hungry for some… ugh… snacks? ha, you know what they want!

Vaseline face. Was that soul glo or mama’s fried chicken grease dripping from his face at every moment on the screen? Gotsa get your shine on.

Green Eyes. If you peak behind those heavy eyelids, you can catch a glimpse of good ole green eyes.

Gangsta Grizzills. Bootleg “Weed” imprinted on his upper set.

Yellow Bubble Coat & Windbreaker Pants. I’m not gonna lie, I could probably find a picture of the RZA (or Bobby Digital) wearing the exact same outfit, but I wanna keep as much respect for the Wu intact.

Bad Lawyers. Not his mama… you cant f*ck someone’s mama, that aint right. Plus Sir Smoke A Lot’s mama probably look like Strange from Boomerang.

All in all, you never learned this much from a character that only graced the screen for no more than 5 minutes total, but with such impact… “Gimme a pound of your sweetest cheeba”

Real life Sir Smoke A Lots?

Bone Thugs? Bizzy Bone needs to put the blunt down for real though …listen here…as well, as well, as well, as well, as well, as well.

Snoop Dogg? scavenger Smoke weed everyday!